I was an anxious kid and now, an anxious adult.
At 4, I cried immediately after being in front of an audience of family members and familiar guests. Why? Because all eyes were on me. Could it be that a 4 year old thought she was being judged by everyone at that table? I have no idea. There's a photo that captures the cheerful moment and a burned memory of crying in the backyard from all of the attention.
As a teenager, I feared going into the cafeteria at work. Someone else had to be with me, or I would go before the rush or after when there were a few stragglers left. My mentor at the time said that no one was looking at me. But, the very thought of people glancing over, however brief, terrified me.
As a late 20's adult, when I tell stories in front of people near and dear or co-workers, my face flushes. Fear of judgment? Still not quite sure.
The attention scares me.
But, I gotta get used to this.